my spiritual disclaimer about music

When I find a song that I like, I like it. I like it so much that I will listen to it on repeat forever, all day and all night. But that is just the beginning.

I will memorize the lyrics. 

I will look up the song meaning and facts about the artist. 

I want to know why they wrote that song and who inspired it.

I will watch the music video. 

I relate it to experiences, people, and feelings.

I want it turned up loud in my car and I don't really want to talk to people when I'm singing it. 

I become attached to the artist and rely on them for my mood. 

That song becomes a narrow tunnel that is my brain. 

No I don't think this is healthy at all. 

Some people might find it dramatic and ridiculous how emotionally invested I am in music. 

But it's also very real.

Ellie Goulding's newest album Halycon came out right in the middle of a broken heart.

It was like getting a prescription straight from the doctor. Her entire album was about heartbreak and I self-medicated by listening to it for weeks. If my emotions were composed into a melody, this is what it sounded like. Each song represented a different stage of feelings that I felt about the overall situation be it anger, bitterness, hope, indifference, depression, optimism.  And in the end, after feeling all those feelings so strongly and just enduring through them along with the album, I came out better. 

I don't know what it is about haunting melodies and vocals and soul-piercing lyrics but they give me a natural high unlike anything else. 

My personal philosophy of what makes good taste in music is passionately loving various genres of music and not just liking but knowing the song. It's also recognizing and respecting others preferences. What makes good taste in music is having a strong sense for it. 

Will I claim that One Direction are artistic geniuses who have started a musical revolution? No.

Will I confidently state that their pop perfection makes me want to scream and violently move my body in dangerous ways? Yes.

Music has always been there for me in the highs and the lows. A song for every dance party, road trip, beginning relationship, night i can't sleep, potential wedding song, you name it. I've got a playlist for every occassion with a music library of 5,224 songs and counting. 

The fact that music makes me feel things so strongly, be it emotionally and/or physically, be it a straight up gangster with Jay-Z or a grungy groupie with the Black Keys...this is what makes music my remedy as well as my addiction.